For some, birth can be such a beautiful experience and it goes exactly as they desired. For others there are times where nothing goes as planned and you may have missed the whole experience because you were under anesthesia. You feel all the feelings of not being able to experience pushing out your baby and labor is a faded memory. I am she, I felt all the hurt, disappointment of not having the birth experience that I dreamed of. My son was born during the pandemic so maternity, birth photography, and fresh 48 was not an option for us. I had a midwife and planned to have a water birth. After 36 hours of labor, water breakage, and loss plug I was sent to the hospital for a cesarean. Although dilated my son was comfortable and decided he didn’t want to come down. I missed it. I missed the moments that I dreamed of. I woke up heavily drugged and missed his first skin to skin moments. To top it all off no one was there to capture anything to help fill in the gaps for what seems like a faded memory for me. The only thing I have is a picture I took with my cell phone of all 3 of us holding hands (pictured above). At that moment I longed for the gaps to be filled in for me. There was no story that could be told, I don’t even really remember anything from being at the birth center outside of the moment when I was told you need to go for a c-section by state law I couldn’t stay there any longer. I was crushed. I wanted to know what it was like to see my husband hold our son for the first time. I wanted to know what his first cry sounded like. I wanted to remember the feeling and see the emotions and love in our eyes when he looked at us for the first time.

As you can see, this is the heart of why I went into birth photography. Everyone should have these moments and experience the raw beauty of birth, love, and connection. They should never be a faded or forgotten memory. It is something to be cherished forever and always. However you birth, your story matters because it is yours.